2010 - THE YEAR IN REVIEW

Like the flashbacks of a fool forced out of nostalgias and the calculated fears of the approaching new year’s day based on previous empirical footing, It culminates into mixed feelings and specially, the moral dilemmas ingrained in the last days of the year for which I got no words except for a dry and barren sigh. I look at the years back pages in scrutiny. Happy “feet” passes away in a fleeting moment without being chiseled in the mind. Seldom can I erase the memories that put me down and leave me in distress and the next moment I am trapped in emotional callousness. With my mind’s eye flashing various experiential scenes at the speed of light, I was tempted initially to bring out a diary narrative but the realization that some things are best forgotten gave me the hindsight to look ahead in self assurance and also the fact that life goes on till the last gasp no matter what. It was a topsy-turvy year indeed. Things can go worse but one can’t expect to start off the New Year in the Old Delhi Railway Station with a tensed preoccupied mind and devoid of a space - within and out, to say Hello heavenwards. I’d say, the year was nothing short of disaster, trapped within the deepest chasm and worst was living underneath the surface of disguised smile.

On a redeeming note, as I went through thick and thin, at times from frying pan to the fire, it was always a learning experience and also a slow but humble realization that it was he who carried me through. Everlasting hope and his esteemed grace is the only thing to look up to beyond which lies the realm of madness and insanity.

As the year draws to a close, my burdened spirits suddenly brightens up and I can only thank all my friends, near and dear ones who stood by me and gave me ample shoulder to lean on to and above all, the one above who gave me the courage to discard my “unwanted baggage” as I move on in life.

He allowed pain so that I become stronger once out of the temporal pain. He broke my heart...that I learn to patch it up. He kept me in suspense and confusion that I could only increase my faith and trust in him. He failed me at times and then I realised that I need to only humble myself. He left me alone so that I could really know and value friends. In sickness, I learnt the meaning of suffering and to take care of myself. Bad things happened which only gave a glimmer of realization of his greater design. I am nothing but in his Grace.

Asangba Tzudir

27th Dec' 2010